For 9 years now, toy and I have had a cuckquean dynamic: I deny her sex, and let her see me fucking other people. It works well for us, it feeds my kinks for power and control, and satisfies toy’s need for sexual humiliation.
This dynamic needs a third person: “the cuckcake”. Without her, we can’t play the way we do.
Over the years we have had a number of these “third parties” join us, and each has contributed in a meaningful way to the kink dynamic that toy and I enjoy.
We regularly post photos and videos of me engaging in sex with a cuckcake while toy watches. I often get comments about how lucky I am, how this is someone’s dream or goal.
I do feel toy and I are fortunate to have found each other, but it isn’t luck that gets these “guest stars” to join us. It is from years of building a positive reputation by ethical treatment of partners, and striving to be people that others want to engage with.
I see countless ads from people looking for cuckcakes to do this play with. Very often they say something like “M 45 looking for cuckcake to fuck in front of my wife (F 42)”, from profiles without even a photo. Sometimes the more elaborate ads will include a height, weight and/or penis length. I believe that if all we have have to offer is our age, gender and some measurements we aren’t making a compelling case.
We find our cuckcakes because we include a lot of information in our posts, because we are active in our local communities, and because we try to demonstrate ethical behaviour with anyone that participates with us. We do our best to show that they will be valued, and explain what we have to offer in the scene. We don’t think we are entitled to anyone joining us, and make our gratitude known.
One of the most common things I hear from potential cuckcakes is that they tried it once, but it was uncomfortable because someone got upset in the middle. Or I hear that the sex went ok, but when it was over they were discarded and didn’t get any aftercare or check ins.
I feel that the cuckcake deserves our gratitude and respect. We couldn’t engage in our kink without them. They are also the one coming into an unknown situation, the one who has to put their trust in us. As the established dynamic, I feel it is our job to make the newcomer feel safe, comfortable and welcome. It is our responsibility to care for them during and after the scene, and do our utmost to make it a positive experience for them.
I have found this to be an incredibly rewarding type of play. It lets toy and I explore deep emotional sadism and masochism in a way not easily replicated. I am incredibly grateful to all those who have played with us.