{"id":1889,"date":"2026-05-17T21:44:58","date_gmt":"2026-05-17T21:44:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kinkhouseofo.com\/?page_id=1889"},"modified":"2026-05-17T21:44:58","modified_gmt":"2026-05-17T21:44:58","slug":"personal-kink-code-of-conduct","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/kinkhouseofo.com\/index.php\/personal-kink-code-of-conduct\/","title":{"rendered":"Personal Kink Code of Conduct"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>In my class \u201cThe Privilege We Hold\u201d, I discuss how having a personal code of conduct can help keep us ethical by having a predefined set of guidelines to follow instead of having to make the decisions each time we are presented with an ethical dilemma. I often get asked what some of mine are, and last week someone who took my class told me that posting theirs lead to some good discussion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is mine, it is what is working for me at the moment. It is not a criticism of those who have different standards or boundaries. It is what works for me based on my current roles within the community. I believe each person who chooses to should define their own based on their circumstances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>When meeting potential partners, I will make every effort to:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Be clear about my intentions, my emotional availability, and my time constraints.\u00a0 To address any time my partner appears to have unrealistic expectations about what I can offer.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Recognize my power and privilege within the community, and to strive to not take advantage of those who could be influenced by it.\u00a0 To recognize that it may be difficult for people to say no, and to not actively pursue those who may be particularly vulnerable due to age or inexperience.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Listen to the opinions and advice of my existing partners when it comes to new people, to take any concerns seriously.\u00a0 To ask for their advice any time I have ethical questions about someone I am considering.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>When negotiating BDSM play, I will make every effort to:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Acknowledge any power imbalance between us, and to commit to my partner not to use that imbalance to influence our negotiations.\u00a0 To do all I can so that they feel they can safely say no, without fear of negative consequences.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Let my partners know that no matter what happens during our play scene, or if they revoke their consent or change their mind they will continue to be welcome at our events and classes, and be treated with the same professional care and attention as other students.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Let my partners know that they can bring up concerns or address issues at any time during or after play, even if months or years have passed.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ensure that my partner understands the risks and implications of anything they consent to, particularly in the case of those with less experience than I have.\u00a0 To make sure that their consent is being freely and enthusiastically given, without pressure from myself or others.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Be open and honest about my experience and education regarding the play I am negotiating.\u00a0\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>When educating I will:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Strive to model good consent and negotiation practices.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Not teach or give opinions outside of my experience or expertise.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Make sure that my teaching partners or demo bottoms are recognized and acknowledged, and make every effort to design classes which offer both top and bottom education.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Offer classes that are open to all, and treat every student professionally regardless of past history, except when to do so could put other students at risk.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Overall, I will continually strive:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>To continually treat others with kindness and respect, no matter how they treat me or my personal feelings about them.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>To be honest and transparent with others, while respecting my right to privacy.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>To use non consensual violence only as a last resort to protect myself or others, when all possibilities for non violent resolution have been exhausted.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Boundaries<\/strong>:<br><br>In order to reduce the risk of making unethical decisions, I have set boundaries around the types of play I will do, and the people I will agree to play with:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>I will decline any offers of play from people who I only know through classes or workshops I teach, and to not pursue those people for play, sex, or relationships.\u00a0 This remains in effect until I have gotten to know them through other circumstances, and a reasonable time has passed.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>I will not engage in, negotiate or plan for one on one play or sex with people that I only know through an organized group scene (such as organized kidnappings at camp events) at the event where I met them, or immediately after.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>I won\u2019t do anything that intentionally breaks the skin (piercings, cuttings, etc) as a first play scene, unless being done as part of a paid service or lesson.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>I will not do rope suspensions with anyone new to me and new to suspension, unless being done as part of a paid service or lesson.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>I will not commit to play, or negotiate play with anyone I have not met in person.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>These guidelines have changed over time, and will continue to change as new circumstances present themselves.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In my class \u201cThe Privilege We Hold\u201d, I discuss how having a personal code of conduct can help keep us ethical by having a predefined<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1889","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kinkhouseofo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kinkhouseofo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kinkhouseofo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kinkhouseofo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kinkhouseofo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1889"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kinkhouseofo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1889\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1890,"href":"https:\/\/kinkhouseofo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1889\/revisions\/1890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kinkhouseofo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}