But what about the scars?

It’s the question I’m asked most often.
When folks see some of the medical play we do.

And I understand it. Mostly it comes from a place of curiosity.

But what people don’t fully understand when they’re asking that, is that they’re also making a lot of declarations with that simple question. They’re implying that my scars are inherently bad.
And what they seem to often be really asking is “how can I do that thing you do without scarring?”

And the answer is,
You probably can’t.

You see,
Good things, like this, they tend to leave a mark behind.

And I know that most people view scars as negative or something to avoid. And I get it. The world thinks that way. They look at your wrinkles and lines and spots and scars and tell you how to fix them. They give you filters and makeup and clothes to hide or fix every flaw.

They tell you that your imperfections make you less beautiful.
They tell you that your wrinkles scream your age.
They tell you that your scars show all of your weaknesses. How you failed. How you’re not enough.

But I guess….

I just don’t agree anymore.

I think the marks on my body show me how strong I am. Every scar he leaves is a message to me. Reminding me that I am powerful. That my skin bends but I do not break.
They tell the stories of my life. Full of adventures and heartbreak and longing and lust and love and triumphs and fighting and growth and change and wisdom and courage and they show me who I am. They show me how strong I am. And how far I’ve come.

My stories don’t make me weaker. My wrinkles don’t scream anything but wisdom. My stretch marks don’t hide my beauty. My scars don’t make me less.

For a long time I used to try and placate people when they’d ask.
I’d tell them how they could “avoid” scarring or which needles tend to scar less, or how they could hide the marks or make them less apparent. I was maybe embarrassed of my real answer. Like I was wrong to think different than them.

But now?
When someone asks me “but does it scar?”

I will simply say “I hope so.”

“I want to look like I was never afraid to let the world take me by the hand and show me what it’s made of. I want to leave this place knowing I did something with my body other than trying to make it look perfect.”

Rupi Kaur